This month has been interesting. I have started walking without curling my toes on my right foot for leverage. My head is not shaking as much, even when I get nervous. My memory depending on the day is good, but I still have days when I forget my own address. I feel that I am recovering and am almost normal. I'm not crossing or moving my legs continually. I'm rarely making sounds with my tongue. Like clicks.
However at night I've noticed when I don't pray, I pray in my sleep. My eldest sister is living with me now, and her being here with me, makes me want to get up earlier and go out and do things. The diagnosis of Bi-polar was removed from my medical file. And there is hope that I will be weaning off my Cymbalta in the next few months. I'm excited and a bit nervous.
I was thinking about going back to the gym. This helps me with my frustrations and motivates me to move more. I'm always on my computer and therefore sitting for long hours. I am typing better and am remembering to re-read what I have typed so I can edit my blogs.
My mother is a little better. She knows my sister is here and so she doesn't worry as much about me. She doesn't feel that she has to visit me as much. Bitter sweet. I miss my mom, but I understand. My animals still sleep with me and give me great comfort. My sons are a bit distant and that bothers me, but I'm taking my doctors advice. I'm trying not to call them or e-mail as much, because he said they have to look for me too. I write them on Facebook and don't get a response. So I face facts. Sooner or later I'm going to have to live my life for me and not my sons.
Although right now, I feel my middle son needs me the most. He's living with strangers and no one bothers to check on him to see if he's ok. So I call him and send him money when I can. I would like to help him with a car. He needs a car to get to work. Life been tough but I feel that he can draw from within himself. And he will always have me as long as he still wants me and needs me.
I have successfully written a book. And am working on my second book. I was tested to see if I was ready to work and was deemed not ready. This was hard for me. Because my sons need me. And I want to be there for my sons like my mom was for me. I am waiting for a veto from my own Psychiatrist. Then I'm going to try to work anyway.
Written by Donna C. Ledesma
Copyright (C) 2010
All rights reserved
However at night I've noticed when I don't pray, I pray in my sleep. My eldest sister is living with me now, and her being here with me, makes me want to get up earlier and go out and do things. The diagnosis of Bi-polar was removed from my medical file. And there is hope that I will be weaning off my Cymbalta in the next few months. I'm excited and a bit nervous.
My mother is a little better. She knows my sister is here and so she doesn't worry as much about me. She doesn't feel that she has to visit me as much. Bitter sweet. I miss my mom, but I understand. My animals still sleep with me and give me great comfort. My sons are a bit distant and that bothers me, but I'm taking my doctors advice. I'm trying not to call them or e-mail as much, because he said they have to look for me too. I write them on Facebook and don't get a response. So I face facts. Sooner or later I'm going to have to live my life for me and not my sons.
Although right now, I feel my middle son needs me the most. He's living with strangers and no one bothers to check on him to see if he's ok. So I call him and send him money when I can. I would like to help him with a car. He needs a car to get to work. Life been tough but I feel that he can draw from within himself. And he will always have me as long as he still wants me and needs me.
Written by Donna C. Ledesma
Copyright (C) 2010
All rights reserved
