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I would like to Thank my readers in Melborn Australia, Chandgarh India, Moscow Russian Federation, Largo US, Columbia US, Elk Grove, Columbus US. San Antonio TX, Robstown TX , Tucson, West Covina for being loyal readers of my website!
May peace be with you always. Be the lord grant you mercy and happiness. May he remember in your hour of need. God bless you.
Donna C. Ledesma
Writer/Author
"Angels Holy Water Font Angel Statue"
So far I have completed a few of my goals. I have been re-examined with blood work and EKG. I still need a complete physical. I was re-evaluated by another psychiatrist who felt I might have Parkinsons Disease. But Parkinson comes on gradually, not from one day to the next. I am currently in a program that is giving me at least nine months to prove that I can still work.
Apt. 9 Patent Crocodile Pill Box
It's called a Ticket To Work Program from the Social Security Office. I was referred to the local workforce office in Corpus Christi Texas.
The advisor listened to my needs, but felt that I may need help or further training. He advised that people can be cruel and he was afraid to place me in a public working environment for fear that someone would ridicule me.
He referred me to another office and the gentlemen there was a great help. He advised me that he could help me get a job working from home in transcription, data entry, or as a customer service representative selling software. I could keep my disability and If I failed I would not lose my disability, but would be re-instated immediately.
He advised that if my computer needed to be upgrade they would do so, free of charge. And send me to school for any certifications I might need.
I told him I preferred to work from home, because I was less likely to have involuntary muscle movements in my own element/home. I'm comfortable there. I get nervous around others and seem to move involuntarily a bit more then normal.
So, slowly but surly my life is coming together. It has been at least a year and a few months of hard work. But I am achieving my goals a little at time. Although at times everything feels hopeless and I start to resent my currently life. Something good always come my way.
My sons will be spending July 4th through the 6th with me. And I'm very happy and excited about that. My blogs are starting double and I'm am getting people from all over the world who are reading my stories. Athens Greece is the newest addition. Two in New Zealand, India, Indonesia, and many places in the United States.
And hopefully someday I will have my book publish in hardback for others to read. I am thankful that I have the support of friends and loves ones to pull me out of my moments of sadness. I'm not perfect, nor am I always so cheerful and strong. But after a few days I dust off, stand up and fight for my happiness; as is my right. I'm down. Not out!
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Thank you lord for blessing me with my home, a vehicle in which to travel, a loving family, and faithful friends. Thank you lord that no harm has come to my children and that they are safe. Thank you lord for my animals Saide and Hazel with whom I would feel lonly if they were not around to keep me company at home. I know lord that someday I will be blessed with everything I lost and then some. My heart does not fail, for I put my trust in the my lord. For you are my rock and my fortress. For if you are with me, then whom can come against me. You are my Shield and Buckler. I pray that when you return you find me doing that which is good on the earth. Let your will be done in my life and and lives of my children always. Amen.
Written by Donna C. Ledesma
Copyright (C) 2010
All rights reserved.
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I believe the most difficult part of my life is a feeling of guilt. I feel bad a times because I am still so young and I see my mother who is retired working and my Aunt. They struggle day to day and keep providing. I miss when I used to work hard for my money. I worked up to 100 hrs just to bring home a $900.00 check.
I did it for my son Zak who was living with me at the time. I wanted to give him whatever he needed. Now I am on disability. I have worked since I was sixteen years old. At first I was upset and didn't want to accept it or the fact that I was disabled. As a matter a fact I tried to disprove it. If that makes sense.
I saw many doctors and had labs, test, EKG, CT ect. I had Physical Therapy.. I fought the pain every day to climb stairs. And I still can't sleep well due to the neck pain I have. It never goes away. I don't believe in taking too many prescriptions. I know they are bad for my kidneys. And I prefer alternative forms of medicine. And yet I do. Because if I don't the ticking is worse.
But what is done is done. I now know that my illness is likely permanent. Who wants a Nurse or Nurse Aid who is ticking like a robot and shhhhing, clicking, winking and crossing sometimes;like a broken CD.... I used to dance a lot. I love dancing. I can still dance, but not for very long. Because my left leg gives out and sometimes my drink will fall out of my hand. And even that has changed. I can't drink like before. And it's probably for the best.
I know that we all have a cross to bear. Sometimes I feel like my cross is unbearable. I don't like people staring at me. I'm embarrassed if I see someone handsome and I'm ticking. I wonder if they think I'm lu lu. It's hard to control. Sometimes I can, but I have to concentrate on something. Like when I crochet or read. And to be perfectly honest, I'm afraid to stop looming or crocheting. I'm afraid if I stop the ticking will get worse again. So every night like clock work I make a flowers and hats even though it 80 to 90 degrees out. The likelihood of anyone purchasing any of my work is slim to non.
But I say to myself, "It's OK. I'll build a supply full of hats, blankets, flowers and when winter comes. I'll be ready."
To continue, I have to see the blessing in all this mess. The blessing is that I am cognitive and I can still voice my opinion and write my story and experiences. The blessing is that maybe somewhere out there is someone just like me; who needs a little courage a long the way. Then in reading my stories they find courage and strength.
To those people who are suffering depression, anxiety, persecution, cruelty and mental health issues. I say keep working at getting better. You have a strong survival instinct. Use it. You deserve better. You deserve your life back. And sometimes you have to FIGHT FOR IT. Fight and get your power back from those that persecute you. Find a way. There is always a way. Make an effort to walk out that door. Push yourself every day. Smile and say something nice. Go to the gym, take a nice long walk, adopt a pet, confide in a very good friend, talk to god and ask for his mercy and grace. He'll give it to you. As long as you believe and have faith. Even if your faith is the size of a mustard seed. It will come to pass. With FAITH. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
I believe that someday JUSTICE will be done. I believe that someday I will achieve all of my goals. Because god is listening. He listens when I pray with all my heart. The prayers of a mother and father, son,daughter and child. It's never too late to make it right.
In suffering we learn to be humble people. I have very little financially to my name every month. And I still give. Even my last dollar, because when you do this your glorifying god and helping his children. When you do unto the least of these; you do it unto me.
This summer I would like to offer a task........ That is when you go and get bottled water at the store. Save some for the poor in this heat. Pick any day of the week and keep the ice chest near you. Give to the poor who are begging for money a bottle of cold water and if you can spare it a dollar. It could save their life or if you are able buy to them a meal from McDonalds dollar menu. They could suffer a heat stroke. They were someone's daughter, son, father, mother and child. Maybe the meal you buy them will be the last meal of their entire life. BE SOMEONES ANGEL FOR A DAY.
Something happened to these poor people a long the way. They ended up with a much heavier cross to bare then you and I. Don't judge them if you give them money. Not everyone is out to rob you. Each is accountable to himself before god. Judge ye not; lest ye be judged. In today's economy there are more people living this way. In California there are tent cities.
Thats' my goal this month. I'm going to buy some bottled waters and pass them to the poor........
"God bless you everyone."
I pray that when God finds us, that he finds us doing that which is right and good on the earth.
We are at the beginning of sorrows. See my blog on "A Revelation." http://donnacledesma.blogspot.com/ Or click on my important links.
Written by Donna C. Ledesma
Copyright (c) 2010
All rights reserved.
"Angels Angel Flora Statue"
