Inspired!

February 28, 2010 - Sunday 

Inspired! Current mood:  luminous Category: Blogging Click Here for Religious Comments Life in itself comes with many trials and tribulations....  God knows that we all have a cross to bear.  But he also instills in us a WILL....   A WILL TO FIGHT FOR WHAT IS RIGHT AND FOR YOUR HAPPINESS.  Dreams are beautiful.  The best thing about dreaming is ATTAINING. And that is where I am now... I have attained my freedom, (no more guardian),  I have the ability to walk again (without dancing),  I have the ability to speak, (without crossing my mouth).  I no longer cross my head up and down and left to right.   My arms are no longer moving quickly and rigidly.  I have a clear head again and can speak clearly.  I no longer have to blink and nod to communicate.  I am not in a Mental Ward any more..... I have a diagnosis and medication to help me. I AM BACK!  I AM BACK...... Because I never stopped praying and asking for help.  Even in my darkest days.  When I was not in control of my body or my words.  I was still somewhere inside shouting!  "I WANT TO WAKE UP! PLEASE GOD WAKE ME UP!"   As the days went by I often wondered, " Is it evening? Morning? Midnight?.. "  Are my children safe?  Where are they?  Is my family safe... Where are they? ... Then on the sixth day I woke up!  God set me free from that awful nightmare!  He pulled me out on the tenth day.  Till this day I pray... I point up to the heavens and I call his name.  "Yahweh, Jehovah, My Jesus!......  Because I am Gods grace!   Gods grace was sufficient for me... Even in those dark days.... He was merciful... Since then I have been to rehab, fitness centers, learned to climb stairs, hold my head still by focusing and leaning it back up against the seat when I drive, talk about what really hurts me, dream of being a writer, going back to work. I have written an E-book.  "My Story A Mothers Journey..... "  I have opened a Corkin business page called:  Handmade Dreams .... Where I sell items that I made that helped me come back.  Stopped my ticks for a moment or for hours. I have reached out to people because that is instilled by God.  To show everyone... His grace is sufficient.  I have an apartment.... (His grace is sufficient), I have a loving family... ( His grace is sufficient),  I have food in my pantry and can cook it on my own. ( His grace is sufficient). Now I say again.  I am Gods GRACE!  I am here for my sons again.  I am here for my nieces and nephews,  I am here for my mother, brother and sisters.  I am FAITH----GODS GRACE---- AND HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR ME...... So be thankful....he doesn't make mistakes.... He makes miracles of us.... to show us the way... to give faith to others...... to be leaders.....and most of all be GOD FEARING... So in closing.... I will continue to shut my eyes, raise my hand in praise, sleep with the angels, sing a song that only god knows is for him.... And he will be my king and the rest shall follow.  My heart does not fail.... for I PUT MY TRUST IN THEE OH MY LORD. Be loving, be giving, Respect one another and rejoice... God has a plan for each of us... Sometimes you have to believe it will happen... And sometimes you have to make it happen...  Then TRUST GOD for the rest... May god bless you and all those you love... May you be blessed to see God house where there is a Mansion with many Mansions within it.  Where the street are made of gold.  And the lion and lamb are tender to one another.  Where you will neither thirst or hunger... Let your seeds be blessed from generation to generation like Abraham and Sarah...  Through them Abraham at 99 and Sarah at 90 years of age came generations of kings.... like Solomon, David and Jesus... Now do you see..... Gods grace is sufficient for you...follow your dreams and your heart.  Be leaders, set great examples.  Be the best at everything you do.  Because when you do.  You are actually glorifying GOD! With Peace and Love Donna Cynthia Ledesma  "Victorian Storage Trunk Hope Chest in Antiqued Plaid"

Change of Heart

January 9, 2010 - Saturday 

Change of Heart Category: Life Click Here for Flowers Comments This year, has been a very rough year for me.  It's taught me a few lessons along the way.  Take the good with the bad and a shot of tequila to blow it off.  I am beginning to feel that life is hard but things will get better with time and patience. Sometimes, I am bit anxious about meeting the right person.  After all ---no one really wants to be alone; least of all me.  I like being in relationships and feeling loved and spoiled (haha).      BLESSING:  I know that God has chosen someone for me; and that he will turn up at the right time.  I know that I am about 90% better.  My head doesn't bob as much as before.  I have very few ticks. I don't cross my mouth when speaking or flutter my feet.  My arms aren't' stiff and constantly moving.  There was a time when the only way I could communicate with my mother on a bad day was to blink and nod quickly. The movements were stiff and rigid.  I was in constant pain. My neck hurt some much and the only thing that stopped the ticking was Ambien and lots of sleep.  I can climb the stairs better and with a little less pain.   Most of movements / ticks are gone now except I tsk tsk every now and then or click with my tongue.  But that only happens to me when I'm nervous or thinking about something unpleasant or painful.    I am self sufficient and living in my own place with my cat Hazel. I wonder at times if I can still become a nurse.  I know that I am intelligent, but I don't know if I can handle the stress of school and studying.  Yet, I have to try..... Mainly to finish what I started and to prove to myself that I still can. I am returning to New Mexico in the summer to go back to the Santa Fe Community College.  I don't know what kind of work I'll be doing, but I know it will be in a hospital environment.  I love taking care of people.  That is instilled in me by god. My god given gift.    Sometimes, when we suffer in life.  It's often times to teach us to be more humble, caring and giving.  But most of all....Be grateful for the blessing even the little ones.  There are people who have suffered greater then myself.  So, I have to kick myself every now and then to remind me that it's not that bad.  I feel for the poor and the hungry.  I think about the people that don't have anywhere to go; especially on a cold night.  Someone is going to bed hungry tonight.  Someone is sleeping on the floor.  Someone has lost a great love or child. So no more Hermit.... Its time for me to live again.  Forget the past..... Because it is exactly that.  (PAST)..   I can still dream of a beautiful life full of happiness and love with the people that are in my life now.  My last blog was bitter, but I was hurt... who hasn't been hurt... No more pity party... Once a few years back I was speaking to a woman who was a minister and a patient.  I told her that I felt like I fell from gods grace.... She told me.... (Then DONNA! GET UP!  GET UP!)  So from my heart to your heart...... GET UP!  ITS OK..... YOUR BLESSED..... YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.... YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES... JUST GET UP! May the Angels that watch over me keep you and your family as well.  May God smile on you again.....  Because you are exactly as he intended...... BEAUTIFUL....... Donna Cynthia Ledesma  "Joseph Studio 16"" Memorial Angel Seated Figurine"